You Saw What?

So I'm out on the bike yesterday getting in some fall miles. I cranking up route 28 heading towards Andover Center. Up ahead, on the opposite side of the road, I see a gaggle of people with back packs walking towards me. My first thought is "Hmmm...School bus must have just dropped them off", to spite the fact that there was no bus to be seen. As, I get closer, I realize "Hey, they're not school kids; they're freekin MONKS!" That's right, monks. Long robes, bald, big bushy Moses beards and back packs....And all of them no older than their mid-twenties.

Is this some kind of weird, end-of -days crap that there are monks wondering around suburbia? or am I trapped in a mordern day remake of Kung Fu? 
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Posted by PunkAss at 9:14 AM

  Help
Since I'm on vacation this week, would someone mind getting mid 80's Whitney Houston the fuck out of my head please? Thanks...... 
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Posted by PunkAss at 6:02 PM

  The Ugly Truth

So once again I'm cruising into work, I'm in the middle lane and I come up on this beautiful new Range Rover Sport in the right lane. It's black, sleek and spotlessly clean. As I start to pull up along side, I can see it's being driven an extremely attractive woman in her late 20's; beautiful cheek bones, a sheet of bone strait blonde hair blunt cut at her shoulders, impeccably applied makeup . She extends here perfectly manicured left index finger as if she were going to turn to me and beckon me closer, the proceeds to jam it up her left nostril and mine for nose gold..JEEEEEZZZZUUUUS!!! I just stared in disbelief for a second, slightly disillusioned, then burst out laughing...

OK Listen, Just because you have tinted windows on your $70,000 SUV, doesn't mean you are FUCKING INVISIBLE!!


Also, If you are a woman with REALLY thin hair, like need to start rockin' the Rogaine thin, a convertible should probably not be the vehicle of choice for you...I'm just sayin'...... 
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Posted by PunkAss at 8:16 AM

  Get Over It

Why Why Why!!?? Why do some people STILL have issues with wearing white after Labor Day? Have we not evolved past this in this modern age of fashion? Don't we owe it to ourselves to be free in a world where we were what we want without the chains of some out dated, outmoded, arcane standard. Let's evolve people!!

It's not 1920 any more and we don't all have a summer home in the Hamptons! And don't start on me with the "It's ok to wear winter white but not summer white" drivel. Break your fashion chains! Move into the 21st century ! Strike a fucking pose and flip off the man!!

You want to see white after Labor Day? I'll give you white after Labor Day...I'm wearing my buttless chaps tomorrow.... 
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Posted by PunkAss at 9:12 AM

  The Good The Bad and The Grumpy

I wish I had something clever or snarky to write today. I don't....I just don't. You see the Idea Faerie and the Clavicle Faerie had a nasty fight last night and sorry to say the Idea Faerie didn't fare too well. So now I'm stuck having to think of things on my own. You can see how well THAT'S going.

Maybe someone will take me out to Starbuck's today and make everything OK...

Ya right, or maybe monkeys will fly out my butt, award me the Nobel Prize for scuba diving and then crown me King of Oblivia.... 
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Posted by PunkAss at 10:22 AM

  Friday
It's Friday. 
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Posted by PunkAss at 3:49 PM

  Talking Feet




Reality check: Personally, I think you can tell a whole lot about a person by their shoes, am I wrong? For instance; if I saw someone wearing the shoes on the left,
I would say they're super cool and funky fresh. But the shoes on the right, I would say "ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ" Total dud round.

So am I right on this?
 
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Posted by PunkAss at 9:15 AM

  We Rocked the 80's


My friend Jack dug up this fucking awesome picture of us and brought it down to practice the other night. I nearly pissed myself laughing! Look at all the f'ing great 80's accessories; the hand cuff belt, the wrist bands, the eye liner! Fucking precious!
Ah yes...The year was 1985; The band was The Origin and we were masters of the metal scene in Salem NH. As we walked the streets, the people would throw rose pedals at our feet and the teen age girls would swoon and spontaneously tare off their clothes and shower us with their panties. Oh to be 19 and a metal god! LOL.....

Seriously though, of all the bands that were around playing at the time, we were one of the only ones doing mostly our own music and developed quite a good reputation and following as a result.

We've all gone on to play in many other bands in the years since, but we'll always cherish those heady days of head banging bliss.... 
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Posted by PunkAss at 9:24 AM

  It's My Birthday and I'll Blog If I want to....

Damn, I can't believe it's my Birthday again. Not a major mile stone like last year but hey that's ok, I love my Birthday anyway. What's that picture? Who's that handsome devil you ask? Yup, that's my High School yearbook photo LOL.. A skinny 125lb, super geeky, 17 year old Punk Ass! God so much has changed since then; yet somehow, in some ways nothing has changed, you know what I mean?

Anyway, Its' my Birthday so stop by my office for a celebratory shot of Parton.....

(This post sponsored by Sleeptrain Mattress Center) 
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Posted by PunkAss at 9:43 AM

  Grumble
Back to work after vacation....grumble, mumble grumble... 
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Posted by PunkAss at 4:24 PM

  Friday
I think I've lost the will to floss....... 
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Posted by PunkAss at 8:59 AM